Most of us know the basics of salary negotiations: don’t be the first to give a number; never accept the first offer; and consider the total compensation package, not just the salary. Know your worth, and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want—if you don’t, you’ll take a hard left to Resentment Town (never mind that your earning potential will never catch up). But what is the best way to ask for what you want, without totally flubbing it?

Words to Use When Negotiating Salary

1. “I’m excited about the opportunity to work together.” Your negotiation goals may oppose your prospective employer’s, but this positive phrase reminds everyone that you are working together to build a compensation package everyone can live with. Ideally, the negotiation is a collaboration that ends with everyone joining the same team.
2. “Based on my research of the market…” You did your homework, know your fair market value, and you’re not about to be taken for a ride. Plus facts offer a concrete foundation for your negotiations and help ground the employer in salary reality.
3. “Is that number flexible at all?” It’s tough to push back against a too-low offer without sounding greedy. But this phrase will help you do it tactfully. The employer can push back with a “no,” come up from their initial offer, or consider other perks such as extra vacation time or stock options. Hey—you were graceful!

Words to Lose When Negotiating Salary

1. “I’d like to be making…” When you disclose a salary figure, whether it’s the salary you’re currently making or the salary you hope to get from the new job, you tie your earning potential to that figure. Maybe you’d be happy making $75k in the new position, but maybe they were going to offer you $100k before you opened your mouth. Do you think you’re ever going to see that higher offer? Instead, say that you would prefer to focus on the value your skills and experience can add to the company, that you are open to an appropriate compensation package, and that the company would know best what your value-add is worth.
2. “I’m sorry…” Negotiations can be uncomfortable, especially if you don’t want to make waves. But apologizing hurts your career, and it can completely deflate negotiations. When you apologize, you surrender your power and become subordinate—not the position you want to be in during salary negotiations. Never apologize for standing your ground.
3. “Yes, that’s great!” We know the idea of negotiations is to eventually say yes to the right offer. But make sure you’ve achieved the right and best offer before you agree. If you get an early job offer that looks great, maybe even surpasses your expectations, don’t say yes right away. (Yes, we also know this goes against your instincts to jump on this great offer.) But consider, it could be you’ve underestimated your value to the company. So a good rule of salary negotiations is to always prepare a counteroffer to see if the deal will improve. Negotiations should end with the company saying “yes” to you.

Negotiations are tough, even scary! But take heart. The company wants you, and now is the time to use this negotiation potential, because you won’t have as much leverage after you sign on. And as much as a salary negotiation is also a collaboration, the key to any successful collaboration is communication. And by sticking to these words to use and lose during your salary negotiation, you’ll be able to clearly and effectively ask for what you want!