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Do You Have the Wrong Mentor?

The right mentor can help you network, work through challenges, and get to know yourself from a different perspective. It should be easy to see the benefits of a positive and productive mentor-mentee relationship. But how can you spot a mentor who may not be so beneficial?

You may have the wrong mentor if:

They’re never there for you. Does your mentor ignore you, reschedule on you, or seem uninterested in your concerns? A mentor should never be absentee—they should check in on your progress monthly or quarterly. To keep expectations on the same page, it may help to set a schedule at your first meeting that outlines how often and by what methods you will communicate. Mentors can be very busy, so it’s important not to ask for too much of their time beyond your agreement. Write down non-emergency questions as they come up between meetings, and think about scheduling some extra time to meet around your annual review.
They’re not gelling with you. You can usually tell early on if you click with someone, and it’s important to click with your mentor. If you’re not working well together—your personalities clash, you’ve had totally different career experiences, or you’re getting advice that doesn’t feel right for you—it might be time to find a better fit. You want a mentor you can feel comfortable sharing with, and whose advice you trust. It also helps to have someone who has been in your shoes and went on to experience the success you want.
They badmouth others. Everyone needs to vent now and then, even your mentor! But watch out if they go off on a torrential tirade about a fellow professional. If your one-on-ones are filled with negativity, your professional-development time isn’t being valued. If after meeting with your mentor, you feel drained and discouraged, their negativity might be dragging you down too. Try to find a mentor with a positive, can-do attitude, who speaks well of your company and its leaders.

If your mentor values your time, thoughtfully answers your questions, puts you in touch with the right people, and follows up when they say they will, consider yourself lucky! And if your mentor is not a shining example of these traits, your gut might be the best indicator of whether it’s time to move on. Finding the right mentor can work wonders for your career!

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