We know you’ve felt it—someone at work you just don’t gel with, so much that you’re barely able to stand in their presence without feeling exasperation or disgust. But what if that person reports to you and you have to manage them? How can you overcome your negative feelings for the greater good?

• Determine the problem. Why don’t you like this person? Whether it’s their attitude toward work—that they chat incessantly about themselves on company time, that they push their work to others, or that they don’t respect your leadership—or a simple personality conflict, find the source of your negative feelings. It maybe help to change your perspective and try to understand why the other person makes the choices they do. It may also help to explain your choices to them. To help your team understand one another, you might try a fun activity like a personality color test. The results will explain each person’s core personality traits, why they act the way they do, and how to best work with each personality type.
• You’re the boss! Leading a team means it’s not all about you and your feelings. Your role is to grow your team! And even if you don’t like one of your reports, you can still outline your expectations, give them meaningful feedback, and help them develop on their career path. And if your dislike stems from poor conduct or poor interpersonal skills, you can turn that into a positive; use their “shortcomings” as a jumping-off point to provide feedback and recommend employee development.
• Talk about it . . . sort of. If you’ve tried to understand the person and you’ve tried to lead them, but things are still awkward or tense, you’ll have to take a more direct approach. Schedule a private sit-down, and start by discussing the ways this employee is valuable and appreciated, and focus on the skills they bring to the role. Wrap the conversation by asking what the person would like from your working relationship, such as more professional development or more challenging projects. Keep it positive; you actually want to steer clear of their negative traits. The goal is to build trust, and to save feedback over problem behaviors for the moment they’re happening.
• Talk about it head on. When all else fails, and your mutual dislike is obvious, it’s time to get candid. Ask what you can do to improve your working relationship. Hopefully the employee will open up to you and be candid in return. And the answer might not be what you expect! During this conversation, your goal is to listen, understand, and seek a resolution, not to argue or win.

If you have done everything and you still can’t work out your differences, take heart: you don’t have to like your direct report to effectively lead them, and they don’t have to like you to effectively do their job. Keep all eyes focused on the end result: meeting your expectations for your team’s performance and working for the betterment of the company. And who knows, as you work together and build rapport, you might learn to like each other a little more!