In our last YES! Your Human Resources Solutionblog, “Three Good Reasons to Say ‘No’ to Your Boss,” we discussed situations that warrant declining your boss’ request. In the big picture, a well-timed “no” is only part of the feedback you’ll need to provide your boss over the course of your working relationship, because, let’s face it, your boss isn’t perfect. If your boss’ wishy-washy scheduling or decision-making is crushing your productivity, it might be time to speak up. But your boss is still an authority figure who has the power to impact your career, so just as important as learning to deliver an appropriate “no” is learning to deliver constructive performance feedback.

To help you deliver tactful and productive performance feedback to your boss, consider:

• If you need to say it. Half the battle of offering feedback to your boss is separating what should be said from what should be kept quiet. The benefit of speaking up should always outweigh the cost to both you and your boss. Even if it will make you feel better, try to never give “feedback” (that is, correct your boss or complain) in the heat of the moment. Such rapid-fire feedback is liable to undermine your boss and hurt you both in the long run. Take time to consider what change you hope to get from your feedback, and how that feedback will make your boss feel. Then choose only the feedback your boss most needs to hear and grow from. And never, ever, deliver negative or corrective feedback in front of the team—do it in a private meeting.
• If you’ve properly prepared what to say. Preparation is key to providing the best feedback, so just as you shouldn’t shout out feedback in the heat of the moment, you shouldn’t ad lib any discussions about feedback. The last thing you want is to sit down to your private meeting, unprepared, and have every complaint about your boss suddenly spew out of your mouth. So when you plan to provide feedback, be sure to write down your talking points first. Think of this like a high school oral report. Remember how nervous you felt up in front of the class, and how those three-by-five note cards helped you remember what you wanted to say? Literally make yourself a note card for the discussion with your boss, including the critical topics you want to address. Bring it to your meeting. And though it may be tempting to talk about every little annoyance you’ve ever had, stick to the points you’ve written. Widening your scope can only weaken the impact of your key points.
• If you’ve properly prepared how to say it. While preparing what to say ensures your feedback is constructive, preparing how to say it ensures your feedback is diplomatic, and ideally, is best received. To start down the road to diplomacy, prepare your boss by scheduling a discussion with a constructive title. (For instance, if your boss consistently fails to show up for your weekly one-on-one meeting, title the discussion, “Thoughts about communicating schedules” or “Thoughts about one-on-one meetings.”) That gives your boss a positive heads-up to avoid being blindsided. Continue your diplomacy by delivering feedback with professionalism and kindness, keeping the welfare of your boss, the team, and the company at its heart. After all, providing feedback is about helping everyone to work better together. Feedback should not come across as an attack or a complaint, which is sure to lead to defensiveness and negativity. So try to avoid finger-pointing, and instead focus on how to work together to improve the processes your boss is struggling with.

Communicating feedback to your boss is never an easy or frivolous situation. Just remember the keys to sharing constructive feedback: choose your battles, then plan ahead to focus on the critical points, delivered in a positive and team-oriented way. Delivered properly, tactful and constructive feedback can help both you and your boss to perform at new heights.