Welcome to Part 2 of the YES! Your Human Resources Solution September series all about communication in the workplace. In Part 1, we discussed the initial assessment of a person’s communication skills, specifically what nonverbal communication says about job interview candidates. This week we’ll delve a little further into a sensitive type of business communication: the giving and receiving of feedback.

GIVING FEEDBACK

Most people don’t give feedback “just because”—they give it to make an impact, whether it’s to praise a job well done or to offer suggestions for change. But a truly productive impact can only happen if the other person is receptive to that feedback and is not defensive or dismissive. The most powerful way to shape a person’s receptiveness is to deliver feedback with the right attitude and approach.

When offering positive feedback: Deliver positive feedback as closely to the good performance as possible. Be specific about what was done well: “your presentation was succinct and easy to follow” instead of “great presentation.” You can also get creative with how you deliver positive feedback, by using handwritten thank-you notes, a catered lunch, or small gifts. And remember: positive feedback is recognition of employees’ good work and of their value to the company. It is a powerful motivator that fosters employee satisfaction, loyalty, and even more good work.

When offering constructive feedback: Offer constructive feedback in a timely fashion, with a sincere intent to help the recipient. Any other intent will put the recipient on the defensive and will minimize the intended impact. Be sure the feedback addresses a behavior or situation the recipient can actually change, and keep the focus on that behavior or situation, not on the recipient as a person. Avoid asking why, as this speaks to personal motivation, is divisive, and can lead to defensiveness. Constructive feedback is also not the forum to offer unsolicited advice or to dictate how an employee should change. Instead, stick to the facts: share information and observations, and let the employee arrive at what could be done differently to elicit a better result. Ask questions that help the employee find that better result, while affirming you are part of their support system: “How can we arrive at a better outcome?” or “How can I better support you in the future?”

Whether positive or constructive, feedback is most effective when it is delivered consistently and when it has been solicited. To increase receptiveness, feel free to ask permission to provide feedback about a situation.

RECEIVING FEEDBACK

Receiving feedback is a great way to identify the strengths and weaknesses of your performance, which in turn, can make you a better performer. And the first key to gracefully receiving feedback is to make it easy for people to share it with you. So be open and approachable, through your verbal and nonverbal communication, instead of defensive or dismissive. Actively listen to what the feedback-giver is saying. When people think you appreciate their feedback and will genuinely consider it, they will be more likely to provide it.

If your defensive shields spring up when receiving feedback, do your best to control them with stress-management techniques. Remember to breathe. If you strongly disagree with the feedback, or feel hurt or upset by it, put a pin in the conversation. Let your emotions settle, and then revisit the discussion. You can also soothe defensive feelings by focusing on understanding the feedback. Ask clarifying questions and summarize the points you’ve heard. Ask the feedback-giver to provide specific situations that illustrate the points being made, so you can gain an even better understanding, in context.

Finally, remember that not all feedback is created equal. Feedback often relies on a subjective interpretation that may be different for each person. It may help to solicit feedback from multiple sources, to see if it is corroborated. Corroboration can help identify whether one person’s feedback may be unreliable or skewed.

At the end of the day, it remains your choice to decide whether and how to act on the feedback you receive.

It can be as scary to give feedback as it is to receive it! So whichever side of the exchange you’re on, the most important thing to remember is to handle the situation with grace and sincerity. A positive, open attitude will go a long way toward improving the communication of feedback in the workplace.