Here we are, midway through September and already at Part 3 of the YES! Your Human Resources Solution series all about communication in the workplace. In Part 1, we discussed the initial assessment of a person’s communication skills, specifically what nonverbal communication says about job interview candidates. In Part 2, we talked about the best ways to give and receive feedback. This week, we’ll share four secrets to improve your communication skills.

SECRET #1: COMMUNICATE WITH CARING

How do you feel after you interact with a colleague who always cuts to the chase, cut and dry, strictly focused on the business at hand? Do you feel like the interaction strengthened your relationship with that person? Do you feel like that colleague cares about you as a person? Do you feel positive, like you want to interact with that person again soon? We’ll go out on a limb and say probably not. The cornerstone of improving communication in any relationship is to start at the personal level, by communicating with caring.

The next time you make contact with a colleague, a direct report, or a customer, slow down. Take the time to offer an earnest greeting, then ask how their day is going or if they had a nice weekend. There’s always time to transition to the business part of the discussion. Show that no matter how busy you are, you have the time to care about the person you’re communicating with. This will create a more relaxed, open environment for communication. Building rapport and trust over time will also work to improve future communications.

SECRET #2: LISTEN FIRST, SPEAK SECOND

To improve your communication skills, try listening more than you speak. Take a business meeting: great listeners tend to hear the details of the entire exchange, such as who is saying what, how they are saying it, who is staying quiet, and what is being said (or not being said) between the lines. This will keep you better informed of the whole situation, and will help you effectively guide the meeting. When you do speak, ask questions that elicit your team’s knowledge and opinions. Not only does this open up the meeting to everyone’s input, it makes the team feel appreciated, and it paints you as a caring communicator who values your team’s perspective. (You don’t want to be the dictator who talks the whole hour, right?)

SECRET #3: LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES

Spoken words tell only half of any conversation; nonverbal messages, including posture, facial expressions,  and tone of voice, tell the other half. To make the most of your communications, remember the importance of face-to-face interaction, especially during important discussions. In person, you can receive and respond to the whole story being told. You might find the two halves of the story are incongruous or inconsistent—a surefire predictor of a communication breakdown. When you have the whole story, you can work to address any discrepancies and avert a communication catastrophe.

SECRET #4: TAKE CARE WITH NEGATIVE MESSAGES

Sooner or later, you’re going to be confronted with difficult conversations in the business world. In these cases, the key to better communication is taking care when delivering negative messages. It’s great to be aware of the other person’s feelings, but also remember to be aware of your own. If you feel inclined to say something critical or contentious, or if you want to say something while you’re hurt, upset, or angry, take a break first. You don’t have to communicate your thoughts or feelings right away, or even that same day. In fact, the knee-jerk reaction of an instantaneous, emotionally charged communication will not be as effective as the thoughtful, logical communication composed after the emotions have cooled. By taking the time to “sleep on” your communication, you may find yourself sending a very different message, or not sending the message at all.

These are just four top tips that can help you improve your communication skills. If you’ve been following our series this month, you can combine these tips with your ability to exchange feedback, and your keen interpretation of nonverbal communication skills. Tune in next week to our final installment, and you’ll be on the road to becoming a great communicator in no time!